Send this Page to a Friend     As a 200+Billion dollar industry, the Pharmaceutical industry is not only a close-contender with Oil – it’s a close-cousin. With oil came industry. With industry came civilization. And with civilization came the infamous “Diseases of Civilization.” Thankfully, what civilization caused, civilization can fix. Take pollution for instance. Someday we’ll be writing out prescriptions to Mother Earth, but before we do that, lets concentrate on treating everything from Acne to Alzheimer's. A few side-effects here and there should be expected. And as we look forward to our Pharma-Future, we took the time to wonder about the drugs of tomorrow.   Welcome to Generation RX. It’s a crazy civilized world out there.     In mediaeval times, people with erratic behavior were thought to be under the influence of demons. Today it’s the influence of civilization. We have lots of names for it: Bipolar, psycho, crazy bitch. It’s a crazy civilized world out there, which means we’ll need some pills to neutralize those mood swings. So ask your Priest...er, Doctor about ExcorciX. It’s a clinically proven to cast out those demonic chemical imbalances that bring out the worst in you. Be warned: Some Bipolar meds may cause a severe skin rash. So you have a choice: feel like a monster or look like one.     With ExcorciX, you picked up a nice little side-effect: A skin rash! Well, with ExorciX2, you can now turn your “side-effect” into a Special-Effect! E2 is an innocuous yet expensive cream that you can rub on your skin rash to give it a glossy, gooey finish, just like in the movies. E2 may not be FDA approved, but it’s Hollywood approved, which means you’ve seen it on TV. And that’s what matters.     We think the future will at long last bring the people a cure to the common cold. We also think it’s been here all along, but cough relief is more profitable than a cough cure. And just before the world goes crazy over natural remedies like Echinecea, we bring you CoryzaX, the specially formulated cold and flu cure.   Side-Effects include sore throat, runny nose, nasal congestion, sneezing and cough; muscle aches, muscle weakness, and loss of appetite. Works even better with cough medicine.     This new revolutionary drug treats hypertension associated with negrophobia. To know if Malcomax is right for you, ask your Doctor or Shrink to diagnose you for Fear of Black Men, Fear of a Black Planet, and Fear of a Black President.     SyphiliX cures “Bad Blood” in African-American males. Side-effects include damage to the heart, brain, eyes, and bones. Contact the US Public Health Service for treatment arrangements. Ask your History Professor about SyphiliX.     In the old days, saggy balls meant a saggy sex life. The good news came when ED meds welcomed all of the old pimps out of retirement. The bad news came the old bags discovered that they could be turned on...but not off. Well, now there’s TESTIDOR, the revolutionary        ED medication that takes the air out of        Balloon Balls, and puts that old cane of        yours back into retirement.     When you’re losing the war on depression, it’s time for Paxkil. Commonly known as “The Black Pill”, Paxkil has a new Fast-Action Formula that literally works in seconds to kill depression. Technically, speaking.       And don’t forget to ask your Doctor about extra-strength Paxkil Plus. It’s stronger, longer lasting and doesn’t just kill depression -- it kills, kills, kills!!!     What makes a Doctor prescribe these deadly doses? Osteopromotethis. We're not sure what causes it. It could be in the genes. The blood. The bones. Or maybe in the pockets. Ask your Doctor about Osteopromotethis.